My Christmas story

Hi friends, this writer's block syndrome is a serious issue. So sorry there was no Christmas day post but I have a short story to tell. Grab a bottle of coke and popcorn and read on...

I spent 14 hours on my journey back home on Tuesday, *sighs. Not only was the traffic killing, the entire trip was just too somehow; though am grateful to God for journey mercies. Just in front of me were two lovers (from what I figured, he was taking her home upon the request of his folks), a couple with their two kids sat beside me. Also on the bus were some funny Warri people, the driver, two fowls, their owner (she sat in the front seat by the driver and let us at the back inhale the fowl poop) and of course me.

MY DOPE CITY

On the 18^th of September (exactly 3 months today), I left all behind: family, friends and all have come to love and travelled down South to experience another side of life. It was with mixed feelings but I had to make that move all thanks to NYSC. Trying to get acquainted with my new environment, I noticed a lot of things and I’ll love to share them with you.

OPEN LETTER TO GOD

Dear Lord,

I’ve decided to focus my thoughts on other things, e.g. my unborn children. So this is it, I like having guys around me (they are fun to be with, I tell you). In that light, 2 boys and a girl will do. Would have preferred three guys though, but let’s just have a girl in the picture. I love twins ehn… kai, so I want them first: a boy and a girl. I already have names for them sef: Anna and Andrew. Per adventure I don’t give birth to a boy, I will name one of the girls Andrew (Word’s can’t express how much I love the name)….

Guest post: ADELAIDE 2

BY Tolu Akinsola

I opened my eyes to darkness, I felt uncomfortable. Something was not right. I was on my bed alright, but I didn’t feel like it. I searched for a torch (at least, that was what I could easily reach for as NEPA had done it again).

Voilà! I got one and flipped it on. I knew it! I was still in my yesterday’s clothes. Then, I remembered I had slumped (gratefully into my bed). And none of my sisters was there. Very Mean Things.

Anyway, I was alive and it was exhaustion that did that to me. I looked at my window. Light flooded into the house. Was it daybreak? I glanced at my wall clock (with my torch, of course).

Jeez! Six o’clock am! OMG! I was to be at the Island by eight o’ clock am. And I was still lazing on my bed.

Standing till Infinity

After writing ‘I will always stand at attention when the National Anthem is on’ 200 times, I moved over to the staff room where Mrs. Ndumele- the Agric. Sci. teacher sat gracefully on her sit. Earlier in the day, she had given me 8 solid strokes of the cane ‘cos I was biting my nails when the Anthem was on. You need to have seen me after that incidence; whenever I hear ‘stand right for the National Anthem’, the speed I use in complying with the command can never be measured…….

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WHO TOOK MY SALARY?

The end of the month is a happy time for workers (mostly salary earners). It’s the time when you remember you need a new dress or shoe or whatever it is you’ve been eyeing at that boutique or supermarket down the road.

For most people, the salary in question is barely enough but wetin man pikin go do

Where are they?

It’s a new day dawn;

Turn by turn the hens’ crow;

The sea breeze serenades the air;

It’s indeed a glorious morn.

The birds chirp and the bees buzz;

The trees sway in glorious surrender;

Like newborns, the flowers bloom;

Oh the farmlands, how flourishing they are.

To the west the sun travels;

The clouds go dark, the rains appear;

Leaving my seat on the mountain top;

‘Where have the humans been’, I wonder aloud.

Guest post: ADELAIDE

By Tolu Akinsola

The noise from the house made my head spin. I felt like a swarm of bees buzzed around my head. My sisters were at it again ‘partying’ (I choose to call it that because they were doing more than just listening to music). I was not ready for this, so I turned back.

Heading to where? The first thought was S.B’s house. But was that even an option? I just had a session with her husband and welcoming me for the night would be a great favor on his part. I wished my parents were home.